


The Punishment For Prudes

by charcolove (charcolor)



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Dissociation, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-11-25 23:24:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20920358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcolor/pseuds/charcolove
Summary: Shouldn't you be happy to be losing yourself in passion? Shouldn't you be happy that someone so wonderful would be willing to touch you this way?Why aren't you happy? You'resupposedto be happy.(NOTE: THIS IS A VENTFIC THAT HAPPENS TO BE NSFW. IT IS NOT PORN.)





	The Punishment For Prudes

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: themes of dubious consent/sexual self-harm, maybe possibly implied dysphoria
> 
> rape fetishists please do not interact this is not that kind of story

Flower was, for the lack of a better word, terrified.

It really wasn't a good time to be terrified. This woman was right on top of her, naked, her lovely body having nothing to conceal it. And yet, Flower couldn't bear to look at her.

Her heart, which was supposed to be full of love and passion, was numb and detached from her body. Her hands were too weak to touch the gorgeous body that she couldn't see on top of her anyway. Her eyes refused to focus on anything, avoiding sights that were supposed to be wonderful but would still burn into her skull like acid nonetheless. The only thing tying her to reality was the fingers slowly penetrating her barrier.

The fingers...inside her.

Flower's whole body froze up, and the sensation quickly disappeared. It was the realization of the obvious: her...vagina...was a part of her, it was attached, and she had to face reality and use it to please. She had to do better than this. She had to be better than this. It was her responsibility. That was the whole reason she'd agreed to this. It was her responsibility to use this disgusting part of her to make this woman happy.

Even if it meant being thrust into petrifying, cum-soaked agony, especially if it meant being trapped in the reality of who she was supposed to be. If she could have anything, she'd have it torn away from her body by sharp jaws with blood and cum leaking through like saliva. But she was stuck with it. If she had to be here, trapped in this warping reality, the very least she could do was whatever could please the woman.

The fingers pushed just a little deeper, and something about the way they moved like a twisting knife made Flower suddenly kick her legs and release a short cry of despair. She didn't mean to, of course. It was like some sort of survival instinct, an instinct telling her the lie that she was in danger and she wasn't supposed to be punished this way.

Flower knew that the woman wasn't hurting her. She was showing love. It would be cruel of Flower to reject it, especially since she'd mentioned wanting this a long time ago. It was too late to reject it. If she couldn't enjoy it, she had to accept it as punishment.

"Is something wrong?" the woman asked quietly.

"No." Flower forced a smile, not aimed anywhere. "It's okay."

"Do you want to stop?"

Flower hesitated for just a second too long before answering, "No."

She waited in silence for the woman to continue, hoping her mind could soon detach from her body as her heart had, and hoping she could grow completely numb, so her limp body could be used as a harmless plaything for that woman without having to be attached to her. She knew that was selfish, especially after having promised this. Wasn't it enough to just close her eyes and cover her ears and let the woman do whatever she pleased? No, she had to lash out. She had to complain to herself in silence, and refuse to stop being such a fucking prude.

Finally, she was touched again. Much more gently, hands brushed against her thighs as something was pulled up to her...genitalia.

"Let's stop. I'll get dressed too."

As she listened to the shifting of clothes, Flower's sight began to be much more focused. It wasn't so distressing to look down at herself now that the most unpleasant part of her was hidden under her panties. She saw her clothes discarded on the floor beside her bed. Her legs were almost completely numb, but with some effort, Flower was able to stand up and put her soft sleeping clothes back on. She sat back down on her bed and looked over at that woman. It was Maika, of course. She knew it'd been Maika the whole time, but her thoughts somehow refused to connect her name to the naked woman who'd been on top of her.

"I'm sorry," Flower told her. "I tried my best."

"You shouldn't have to try at all if you don't want to." Maika finished pulling her tank top on and approached Flower. "It really, really, really isn't worth it."

"It is if it makes you happy."

"It doesn't make me happy to see you upset."

Flower nodded, and noticed she'd subconsciously crossed her legs, which she often did anyway, but now it felt a little more protective. "It won't make you happy, either, if we never actually...do that. I know how much you always wanted to."

"Flower!" Maika tentatively stretched her arms out, and with Flower's nod of permission, she pulled her into a hug. "There's so much more I can do to make you happy, anyway! And you do so much to make me happy, too! It's okay to not want sex!"

"I know." Flower rested her fingers in Maika's soft, thick hair. "But if you want it, it's not fair to not give it to you."

"Why not?"

"Because if I can't give you what you want, I'm not a good girlfriend."

"If you can't give me sex without being upset, that's not your fault, is it?" Maika hugged her even more tightly. "It's okay! I can live without sex! We never have to do it if you don't ever want to! You already make me so, so happy every day!"

Maika released her to stroke hastily dried fingers through her hair.

"And no matter what happens, I love you more than anything in the universe. And the only thing I want from you is for you to be happy, too."

Flower let herself smile, and buried her face into Maika's chest. Maika always did this for her, she always made Flower feel safe. In any circumstance, in any scenario, Maika would protect Flower from all these horrible feelings, and it relieved Flower every time Maika assured her that she was able to do the same in return.

Maybe someday, she'd be ready for sex. Maybe she never would. But Flower had faith, now, that whatever she eventually decided didn't matter, because they could be safe, happy, and in love regardless.


End file.
